Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
