I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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