Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
