a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
