she's into porn, im staying here tonight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
