Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
