I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
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I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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