I don't think brook has ever known best
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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