she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
