It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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