Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's just like the Real World with babies
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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