There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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