Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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