white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
