Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
