yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
