the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
