If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's shark week go big or go home
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I party with great urgency now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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