some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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