Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
