okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
