Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
