found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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