if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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