am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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