you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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