Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
