I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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