Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
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I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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