He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize