evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
