i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
