The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
