she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
