I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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Come share oat with me in your robe
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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