How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
