found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
