I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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