If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
