can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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