I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
