Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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