It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
