Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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