bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
