like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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