So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This is the high leading the old right now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Randomize
