This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
