sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
