you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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