Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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