This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
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So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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