I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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