well I can't set my house on fire every night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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