I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
