i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
