I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
