i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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