if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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