what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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