3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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