no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize