They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
