I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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